This Redbird Has Flown

Okay kids...I was gonna devote this space to the finale of my birthday celebration re-cap, but a few too many things have gone on to make that important any longer.

First, with the NFL Draft 2007 now completed, I have a few thoughts. The Raiders, Browns and, unfortunately, the 49er's knocked the ball out the park over draft weekend. My Vikes did okay. I love the Adrian Peterson pick despite Chester Taylor's presence in the Minnesota backfield. The Rams did take Cornhusker Adam Carriker, but the guy is a solid baller who should help a d-line that features noted murderer Leonard Little and not much else.

Dems had their first "debate" late last week. What most of already knew was confirmed as Joe Biden proved himself to be a total fuckin' nutball. More interesting was the way flavor of the month Barack Obama allowed dark horse candidates Christopher Dodd and Dennis "the Menace" Kucinich to annoy him as much they did.

Sadly, however, my real focus over the weekend was on my St. Louis Cardinals as for the second time in less than 5 years a player from the active roster has passed away. Relief pitcher Josh Hancock was killed early Sunday morning when the SUV he was driving slammed into the back of a tow truck parked on I-40 Sunday morning.

Hancock's death follows that of starter pitcher Darryl Kile, who died of heart failure in the summer of 2002.

Those outside the St. Louis Cardinal family and fandom who truly lack perspective will look at the career numbers of a journeyman reliever and not see what the fuss is all about. I encourage anyone of said mentality to read the column written by ESPN.com's Jayson Stark.

Last night's game was, naturally, postponed, making it the second time in 5 years a tilt between these rival's has been put on hold so that Cardinal Nation might mourn the passing of one of their own.

Not sure what will happen with the Cards the rest of the season. In the summer of 2002, Darryl Kile's death seemed to unify the team in a single purpose as a middling start was laid aside and the team went on a run that landed them in the NLCS. This year's team has less talent than the 2002 squad had, but last year's October run did show this team is second to none when it comes to perseverance and heart, so a repeat of the summer of 2002 would not surprise me. I'm just not sure it matters anymore.

JeffRey

Feeling a Draft

Hey kids, and Fuller, part two of the Birthday Roundup will be coming this weekend. I just wanted to pop in with a very brief something something on the upcoming NFL Draft.

For those unawares, I grew up in the communist hamlet of Minnesota. In the years since my being uprooted from the motherland two things have persisted in my brain:

Crazy liberalism

and

A Fatalistic following of the Minnesota Vikings.

Now I'm sure they're going to find a way to cock up this draft. My guess would be they draft Arkansas defensive lineman Jamaal Anderson about 10 picks earlier than he deserves to go, but here is my sincere hope.

I really think the Vikes are going to be looking at that 7th pick with a chance to draft either Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson or Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn. If they land either guy I will take back 35% of the negative things I've said about the front office in the past.

Meanwhile, the St. Louis Rams are going to test my secondary allegiance by drafting Nebraska defensive end Adam Carriker.

Number 1 pick will be JaMarcus Russell, from my adopted alma mater LSU. Mizzou d-linemen Brian Smith and Xzavie Jackson will go late in the draft. Wideout Brad Ekwerekwu will be taken in the 5th round.

JeffRey

Birthday Roundup - Part I

Hey kids, just your humble author popping in to regale you with tales of my birthday weekend.

The actual anniversary of my birth was Thursday, April 19th, and the day passed with not a lot of fanfare. My grandmother was nice enough to call me....at 7:15 a.m. I hadn't spoken with her in a some time and she's a nice lady so I let the wake up slide.

It did segue nicely into a breakfast in bed treat courtesy of the Lovely Brook. She had made an early morning run to Panera and come back with a pecan roll (which I love) and a Chai Latte (also loved). Brook's main present to me was my tickets to the Beale Street Music Festival (a.k.a. Memphis in May) I had known about this gift for some time, but she wanted to surprise me with something on my actual birthday so she added to the prize package the following items:

• one bag Blow-Pops (my candy of choice)
• a Time magazine sort of Century in Review thing which has some pretty cool photography
• a book I'd been wanting (details to follow)

The book is Joan Cheever's Back From The Dead. Ms. Cheever is both a journalist and one-time attorney who lost the only death penalty case of her career. Haunted by the unjust murder she could not prevent she took it upon herself to fulfill a daunting task....

You see, in the summer of 1972 the United States Supreme Court, in the case of Furman v Georgia, ruled the application of the death penalty to be not equitable and therefore unconstitutional. The decision set aside death sentences for 589 human beings in these "United" States and ensured no one would be executed for nearly 5 more years.

Ms. Cheever, in examining said case, took it upon herself to find out what happened to the more than 200 men who, their lives having been spared, earned paroles in the subsequent years. Did they attempt to slip anonymously into society? Did they become advocates of death penalty abolition? Did they return to a life of crime? Did they kill again?

These are questions I'm assuming Ms. Cheever will answer. I'm not finished with the book yet, but I'm about halfway through so I'll let you know.

And that for the most part was my actual birthday. I did finally see Grindhouse. Tarantino's half rocked. Robert Rodriguez's was okay, but I'm a big fan/aficionado of zombie films so it was gonna be hard to really impress me.

Now the actual social gathering in celebration of my birthday was the following evening/into the subsequent morning. There is way too much to say to include it all in this post, so I will instead end with a recap of my other birthday gifts and bring you Today's Motherfucker.

Gifts:

• a DVD-rom drive from my folks
• tickets to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah from my boy JoNathan (whose quite good blog is linked from this very site
• a nice little canvas bag featuring a portrait of Chairman Mao from my good pal Liz
• a 2006 World Series hanky/towel from Mr. Tippit
• funding from Grams put toward a new digital camera
• mix cd's from the fabulous Anne
• good company, numerous intoxicants and a nice little after party at the home of Liz, Anne and Amy

Okay, that was the good. But for every Yin there's a Yang. So we bring you Today's Motherfucker.

It was bound to happen and it finally has. Today's Motherfucker is someone with whom I am personally acquainted. As such it's important for me remind everyone that just because one is named a Today's Motherfucker it does not put them on the same plane of life as all recipients.

With that said Today's Motherfucker is Mark David Snow. Now I'm not sure if anyone who reads this blog outside Mr. Hicks is familiar with Mark, but allow me outrage you...

Mark and I have birthdays just one day apart. In fact, six years ago we had a joint party to celebrate his 21st and my 24th. The party took place at the house of a mutual friend where I had just signed on to move into. Well let me just tell you what happened. Mark and his twin brother, who of course was also celebrating a 21st birthday, hijacked the entire thing! Mark got fucked up and wrote this famed quote on the toilet:

Fuck this fucking shit! It's my fucking birthday!

He wrote that on the toilet. Not on the wall near the toilet but actually on the toilet.

Now I admit....that's pretty funny. But he and his brother still hijacked the party and left me as an afterthought. Now fast forward 6 six years.

Mark lives in Texas now, but I did send him a Facebook invite to my party just to remind him of the proximity of our birthdays. He RSVP'ed as not attending and left it at that. No message. No birthday wish. Just a not attending.

Hmmm....curious.

Now I did leave him a Happy Birthday greeting on his Facebook wall, but received nothing back! And I know he's checked his account because he's one of those that leaves updates every hour or so letting everyone now exactly what's he doing.

10:23 a.m. - Mark Snow is eating Cheerios

10:37 a.m. - Mark Snow is in the bathroom

Forever and a day - Mark Snow is Today's Motherfucker!!!!!

Maybe I'm playing the diva, but I think a Happy Birthday would not have been out of line. This is what it would have taken:

• Once logging on to let us know at 11:14 a.m. you logged onto Facebook you click on my name after reading my comment left on your wall, this advances you to my profile.
• You click in the box for leaving a comment on my wall.
• You type the letters h-a-p-p-y
• Hit the space bar once
• You type the letters b-i-r-t-h-d-a-y
• You click the little blue box that reads "Post."

For those not counting that's two clicks, 14 keystrokes and another click. I'm not even asking for a capital "h" or "b" or any punctuation at all!

Screw you Snow. Oh, and screw you too Eli! Everyone else....I love you.

JeffRey

They Say It's My Birthday!

Yes friends, today your humble author turns 30 years of age.

30!

Now I was going to make some snarky comment about tragic occurrences taking place on or around my birthday and apply some retroactive Today's Motherfucker to Messrs Koresh, McVeigh, Harris and Klebold....but then it happened again this year, making any jokes feel not right.

My heart goes out, of course, to all those in Blacksburg, Virginia and around the world who were personally affected by the events at Virginia Tech University on Monday last.

No good way to segue out of that so I'm not even going to try.

Today is my 30th birthday though and I feel it worth a mention. I had operated under the rather dreary notion that I was the first among my good friends to hit this age before being reminded my good pal Randolph is already 31. I forget he's older as he looks a lot better than I do....Bastard.

I'm not generally big on birthday parties, but the Lovely Brook insisted and put the wheels into motion so it looks like I'm having one after all. For any who read this and find yourself in Columbia the night of April 20th, you should make your way to the sideroom in the Olde Heidelberg and help celebrate the courage necessary to live in these "United" States for that length of time.

Til next time kids....stay young at heart.

JeffRey

A Windbag Gets Popped

Okay kids, it's the moment you've been waiting for....

Today's Motherfucker is.....Radio and TV Personality Don Imus!!!!!!

I'm sure you've all heard the furor over Mr. Imus's comments regarding the Rutgers University Ladies Basketball Team, but in case you're unawares allow me to re-cap.

The ladies of Rutgers were in the midst of their improbable run to the championship game of the Women's NCAA Tournament and Mr. Imus and his band of morons were discussing the team on his radio show, which happens to be simulcast of MSNBC television.

Imus started talking about the "hard" look of many of the Rutgers players, 8 of whom are African-American, and called attention to their variety of tattoos.

Bernard McGuirk, Imus's producer and a moronic asshole in his own right, then referred to the team as being "some hardcore hos."

That would have been bad enough, but Imus took it a step further by calling them "nappy-headed hos."

Uh-Oh

Now there will be close-minded, generally speaking conservative GOP types, people who will tell you this is no big deal and just another example of political correctness run wild. I want each of you to write down the names of any such people and forward those lists to me as they will be recipients of a Today's Motherfucker as well. These are the type of people that still use the term "nigra" and don't think it's offensive to anyone.

This is not about political correctness, it's about being a fucking human being.

Now Imus has done all the right things. He apologized on his show. He apologized on Al Sharpton's show, you may not have been aware such a show existed and he hasn't stopped apologizing. But he doesn't get it.

He thinks he's actually funny when he says shit like this. His only humor is mean-spirited and it's always directed at someone else. What he doesn't realize is there are some things and some people you don't make fun of because they don't fucking deserve it.

Now Jesse Jackson has taken to the streets, demonstrating in from of Imus's studio, calling for the firing of the talk-show host. The march is probably excessive, I mean this isn't exactly firehoses in Selma. I do think however Don Imus should be fired. Not just for this particular transgression but for every one of them. Fire him for calling New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson a "fat sissy." Fire him for calling General Colin Powell a "weasel." Fire him for calling Arabs "ragheads"...on the fucking air!!!!

This guy's 15 minutes have been going on for 35 years. It's time to finally pull the plug.

JeffRey