"Get Up, Come On Get Down with the Sickness!"

Hello friends and those I merely tolerate.

I'd like to start by thanking all (read: both) of you who wished me a Happy Birthday this last week. Wednesday marked the 29th anniversary of my entering this cold, cold world meaning, obviously, I will no longer have any birthdays in my 20's. For those of you who follow the blog with any regularity, you know this idea has become one of the focal points for the book I'm writing. The project is, of course, still in its infancy, but I'm pleased to report the ideas are percolating.

I'd also like to thank all who opined about the "gentleman" I saw wearing the Irish Republican Army t-shirt. I think I probably got a little too worked up over merely the fact he was wearing the shirt. I'm sure the dipshit had no sense of perspective when he bought the thing. It's interesting because I just read a story yesterday on the huge increase in sales for Duke University lacrosse merchandise. For those not in the know, and you'd have to really be trying to avoid all the news, the Duke University lacrosse team had its season cancelled by the school after an exotic dancer claimed she was brutally raped by three team members at a team party.

That last paragraph had quite a few words, so let me sum it up for you. Exotic dancer claims rape--team season cancelled--two players arrested and charged with sexual assault and kidnapping--sales of team merchandise are through the fucking roof! Sales are especially brisk in....oh you know it....the stores on campus.

Now I'm not going to debate whether or not Duke should even be selling this merchandise....because that would be stupid. Stupid, of couse, because there can be no debate in a one-sided argument. There is no way the university should still be moving the team's merchandise. I am pleased to report the Dick's Sporting Goods stores in the Raleigh/Durham area have chosen to remove all Duke lacrosse gear from their shelves.

So like I said, no debate on that. What we should be debating is why would people want to buy the stuff in the first place. This, in my mind, is just like the guy with the IRA shirt. It's tacky at best and horridly offensive at the worst.

Now anyone who knows me is aware I have some t-shirts that ride the line of taste just a bit. But there is no way I'm sporting anything that glorifies terrorism or sexual assault. I just don't understand people.

Okay, now we're finally to the real point of this post, which means you still have some readin' to do my friend.

Not sure if you caught this, but a report came out of Los Angeles last week concerning a public health issue. Now here in the midwest we've seen a significant increase in cases of the mumps. Now that's a tad on the archaic side if you asked me. So imagine my surprise to hear a woman in Los Angeles has been diagnose with....the bubonic plague.

THE BUBONIC FUCKIN' PLAGUE!

The article I read actually made reference to...The Black Death.

THE BLACK FUCKIN' DEATH!

Now before you get too worked up I have to let you know the bubonic plague is not contagious. Now when it killed some 25 million people back in the 16th century it was spread via the bites of fleas who had previously bitten infected rats. The theory in L.A. is the infection came from disease ridden squirrels.

Now if left untreated bubonic plague can turn into pneumonic plague. Should that happen....watch the fuck out. That said, the folk in Los Angeles believe to have nipped this in the bud.

Now surprised as I was to hear of one person having the Black Death, the article I read informed me bubonic plague is diagnosed....in these "United" States....an average of 10-20 times a year.

TEN TO TWENTY TIMES A FUCKIN' YEAR!

And I thought the guy who killed his girl over cold sandwiches was scary. What's next, an outbreak of leprosy? I used to think it was odd to hear of guys getting the gout.

Well I just wanted to update all ya'll as to what was happening medically in your world. As of right now this is little to fear from the plague, but if you dog has fleas....I'd think about a dip and a nice grooming as soon as possible.

Bring Out Your Dead!

JeffRey

Oh Danny Boy, the pipebombs, the pipebombs are calling.

With this being Easter Sunday I'm sure most, if not all of you, my loyal readers have plans to spend the entirety of the day in church celebrating the resurrection of your lord Jesus Christ. With that in mind, I'll keep this brief....but oh so provocative.

Last night I'm at one of my places of employ and a gentleman walks in to conduct a bit of business. Now this guy is Irish all the way. He's got the red hair. He's sporting his Guinness hat (Brilliant!). I can almost hear the smooth stylings of House of Pain ringing through the streets. He was also wearing a t-shirt declaring him to be a member of the Irish Republican Army Demolition Team.

Now I'm sure this shirt is just a novelty item. The IRA is a little passe now, but even when the group was closer to its zenith rather than its nadir, I'm sure its members did not wear Members Only jackets, no matter how proud they were of themselves.

That said the IRA was, is and will always be.....a terrorist group. They made their name with bombings (church bombings no less), kidnappings and assassinations. Yet this guy wears his shirt out and about town amongst the "civilized" folk.

Does that bother anyone else? If it doesn't I want you to consider this. What would you think if you saw a Middle Eastern man walking the streets of your town wearing an al-Qaeda t-shirt? Or maybe a PLO hoodie? Or even one of those blue Wal-Mart vests? (Kidding...sorta) You'd probably take notice. If you're a good little American you'd probably even report said gentleman to the nearest law enforcement officer.

So do we give this Irish guy a hallpass because he eats corned beef and cabbage rather than falafel? (Sorry, I love food stereotypes.) The more I think about this the more I wish I had asked this guy what exactly was running through his pea-sized brain. It probably wouldn't have made a difference though as it would not surprise me if he were totally oblivious to what his shirt even meant. In this day and age of Enduring Freedom terrorism means Islam and Islam means terrorism. Maybe it's appropriate this came up on the weekend of the most Christian of Christian holidays. This Irish guy can bomb a Catholic Church and still have time to burn down a Mosque....all before busting out the Paas kit with his kids.

Anyway, I'd like to hear back from anyone who reads this. Am I taking this all too seriously? Should I have a sense of humor about the guys t-shirt? Is it ridiculous to get upset considering I did not ask the gentleman why he was wearing said shirt, thereby depriving myself of context?

It's possible....but I sincerely doubt it.

I say rise up!

JeffRey

"Hoagies and Grinders, Hoagies and Grinder, Navy Beans, Navy Beans. Hoagies and Grinders, Hoagies and Grinders, Navy Beans, Meatball Sandwich."

OK, I know I've been away awhile. Actually that's not true. I've been here, I just haven't had the time nor the inclination to blog anything.

I know some, or one, of you was eagerly anticipating my re-cap of the trip the lovely Brook and I took to Washington, D.C. I have found said project to be quite large in scope and consequently will not have it done for some time.

However, the world keeps turning and as such there are countless things to discuss. In fact every day you'll have things you'll want to talk about. I...will...too.

Don't know if you saw this on the news, but a man in Pennsylvania is being held in jail for the murder of his live-in girlfriend. Seems a fight between the two began when she refused to heat up some sandwiches for the man.

He re-acted by knocking her to the ground....and throwing a microwave at her chest. He then repeatedly stomped on her chest and beat her head against the ground until she lost consciousness. However, and the man is quoted as having said this, he didn't mean to kill her. See, it was just an accident....that she died.

As proof of his remorse, the man claimed he sought help from a neighbor, but the neighbor was not at home. So he returned to the scene of the crime and called 911.....but not until after he had himself a beer.

I don't want to make light of this people, but HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT! How can people like this really exist. If this character were on an episode of Law & Order we would never have believed it. But now I'm sure you can count on yet another story "ripped from the headlines."

In the meantime, I'm going to go hide under my bed.

JeffRey