"They have everything for you men to enjoy. You can hang out with all the boys."

Okay bloggers...

First I'd like to apologize for being absent for some time now. The last two weeks of October found the Lovely Brook and I attending weddings.

The first being that of my very best friend Randolph as he married the ever so lovely Big O. Yours truly was even afforded the honor of being Best Man at said nuptials.

The second found us in Austin, Texas to attend the wedding of Brook's cousin Jason.

Now I have much to say about both events, and as you are reading this it is quite possible I am sorting out all of my thoughts on paper.

Yes, friends, your humble author is getting away from his modus operandi and actually organizing some thoughts before putting pen to....cyberspace.

But today I heard news which could not wait, for it has shaken me to the very core.

Hitting the AP Wire earlier today was the news Mr. Neil Patrick Harris....well, let's say he wears comfortable shoes.

Yes my friends, Doogie Howser would rather have played doctor with Vinny Delpino.

All I can say is "NPH wouldn't do that."

Sadly however, it appears he would, and could and in all likelihood...has.

But you know what? I say whatever makes him happy. This will, of course, make his scenes of snorting coke off strippers asses seem less real, but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make to ensure Neil's happiness. Because as you know..."happiness is a warm....", wait a minute...I finally get that!

Oh and one final thought before I go....


THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!! HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT!!!!!!
OCTOBER 27TH, 2006 IS NOW IN THE TOP 5 GREATEST DAYS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!
GO CARDINALS!!!! WHOO!!!!!!!!!! CARDINALS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Go Cardinals.

JeffRey

"Break, if you like the sound. If it gets you up. If it brings you down."

G'Day Bloggers!

Not sure if any of you were still wondering, but reports say Chick Lennon is still sproutin' wood.

You know, the more I think about this, the worse I feel for ol' Chickey Baby.

I mean, think about it. If Chick has a boner all the time, how does he know when he's really into a lady? Just from my personal experience, I can say Angelina gets little more than a twitch from me, but for some reason Courtney Love has me comin' to attention like I just joined the Marines.

But Chick...man bro gets the same reaction lookin' at Jessica Biel as he does lookin' at Jessica Tandy! That's fucked up yo.

Anyway, thought you might be interested in hearing I've just finished watching the first season of the Showtime series Weeds on DVD. It's pretty good. Mary-Louise Parker stars as Nancy Botwin, a recently widowed suburbanite who decides to make ends meet by peddling the marijuana to fellow urban sprawlers. It's pretty good. Funny for the most part, but at times also touching as Nancy is forced to balance dope running with raising two sons without a father figure in their lives, supporting a friend with breast cancer whose husband enjoys nailing the nubile tennis pro while her racket is stuck up his ass and at the same time dealing with the pain of losing the man she loved.

Follow all that? So that's available on Digital Versatile Disc. You should check it out.

Now on to the meat and potatoes of today's blog. It's possible you missed the significance, but yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the abomination known as "the wave" becoming a fixture at American sporting events. Now the true origin of the wave is up for debate, but this date is without dispute. October 15, 1981 "Krazy" George Henderson inspired fans of the Oakland A's to join him in the choreographed mass cheer during an American League Championship Series game between the hometown A's and the New York Yankees. It was the first reported sighting of the wave at a Major League Baseball Game.

Since I personally hate the fucking wave and find anyone who participates therein to be totally ridiculous, this anniversary is for me the sports equivalent of July 16, 1945. For those unaware of the significance of said date....read a book, or Google or something.

The Wave is the worst thing to hit sports this side of the designated hitter. Yet it has become so ingrained in sports, particularly baseball, you actually have assholes who come to games just to do the wave. I'm sorry, but couldn't you have just stayed at home and allowed an actual fan to buy the seat your are now wasting because every 3 minutes you're standing to throw you hands in air...and wave 'em around like ya just don't care?

I don't exempt children either. If you kid can't watch the game, you either don't bring him/her or you invest in some friggin' Ritalin.

And there is not even an established ettiquette to the wave either. If you must do the wave, you never do it while your team has the ball or is at bat. You may not think you're hurting anything, but the first time I can scientifically draw a line from fans doing the wave to a home team committing a turnover or a batter striking out....I'm going postal on some attention-span lacking motherfuckers.

Thunderstix? I don't personally care for them, but I have no real problem with fans banging away with them. Rally Monkey? Strange...but kinda cute. Tomahawk Chop? Well, there's a few cultural areas we're entering into there, but now isn't the time to debate that. Even choreographed chanting is fine...but please God....don't do the wave.

I was going to write more, but I'm just too upset right now.

I would like to say I went climbing a few times today. The Lovely Brook and I live on the second floor of our building, so today I tackled a class 10-step staircase several times over. It was tough at first, but I think my lead hand and foot are much stronger for the effort. Tomorrow I'm thinking of parking on the top floor of a garage and attacking one of those monster 100-step climbs. The whippers might be bad, but I'm confident with my holds. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can clear the deck on one of those babies. Yeah...feelin' good. Might even park in the Red level. You know, see where I'm at as a climber.

Later guys and gals.

JeffRey

Old man I take a look at your life, and I want to be a lot like you.

Hello bloggers,

Today's dosage begins with an item from our friends to the south, the lovely Cuba. Yesterday the Caribbean nation mourned the passing of Benito Martinez Abrogan.

Senor Abrogan's passing should not have been a big surprise to anyone however, as his reported age at the time of his death was a ripe....126 years old.

Now that's pretty fuckin' old.

Senor Abrogan was not officially recognized as the world's oldest living person as he had no proof as to his date of birth, but the man claimed to have been born in Haiti in 1880 and maintained good health through a diet heavy in vegetables.

Apparently Mr. Abrogan is not the only one to find a seemingly everlasting life in the former homeland of Hymen Roth. A recent study showed a whopping 2,500 of Cuba's 11.2 million residents to be at least 100 years of age. The study went on to say this unusually large percentage of centegenarians could be credited in part to a society that generally eschews excessive amounts of alcohol but does enjoy a steady diet of coffee, cigars and sexual intercourse.

Hmm...maybe this whole Communism thing isn't such a bad gig after all.

Okay, quick round-up on the political front. Former Virginia governor Mark Warner is set to announce today he will not seek the Democratic nomination for the Presidency in 2008. As yet no specific reasons as to why he won't be running have been released. Governor Warner was seen as a potential centrist alternative to Senator Clinton for Democratic voters.

The University of Missouri-Columbia has decided complimentary condoms will not be provided in its dorms. In an related story, it is now predicted fewer University of Missouri-Columbia alumni will live to be at least 100 years of age.

And finally the Supreme Court this week decided without comment to not hear the appeal of Sandra Cano. Ms. Cano was the "Mary Doe" of Doe v. Bolton, the companion case to the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling. Ms. Cano, who insists she never wanted an abortion, has long been a pro-life spokesperson and sought the appeal in an attempt to overthrow the entire Roe v. Wade ruling.

While the Court did not comment as to why it will not hear the case, I'm guessing the reasoning would be along the "get fucking real" line of thinking.

Strangely, or maybe not so strangely, enough, Norma McCorvey (a.k.a. Roe) also asked the Supreme Court to appeal the case. In Ms. McCorvey's case the attempt came up several years ago. The Court declined to hear her appeal as well, some nonsense about not really being able to appeal a Supreme Court's previous decision in the same fucking case. All of which makes Ms. Cano either very determined or a zealot who really doesn't care about anything and anyone other than her own right-wing, provincial agenda.

Not that I feel that way.....but I actually do. Ms. Cano, there are plenty of other abortion cases to go before the Court. We don't need you trying to convince the Justices they have the power to directly overturn cases heard by previous Courts. The next thing you know slavery will be legal again.

That's all for today kids, but tune in next week when I break down The Departed, the latest feature film from director Martin Scorsese.

JeffRey

R.I.P. Corey Lidle

R.I.P. Buck O'Neil

Baseball fans the world over lost a friend last night with the passing of Buck O'Neil at the age of 94.

Mr. O'Neil both played and managed in the Negro Leagues for a number of years before the Chicago Cubs franchise managed to finally do something right by making him the first black man hired as a coach of a Major League Baseball franchise. Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in terms of playing major league baseball, but it was Buck O'Neil who became the first black man to make decisions concerning a major league game.

Following his years as player and coach, Buck became a noted scout for several teams, and is the man credited with signing Hall of Famers Lou Brock and Ernie Banks to their first contracts.

In the years after his on-field career Mr. O'Neil gained notoriety for his storytelling ability and was often called upon for his recollections of the Negro Leagues and the stars and personalities that made the league what it was. He is featured prominently in the Ken Burns documentary of the history of the game.

He established the Negro Leagues Baseball Hall of Fame in Kansas City, Missouri and continued to act as ambassador and unofficial spokesman for the league and its players nearly up to the day of his passing.

This summer, in an attempt to finally recognize the importance of the league and the quality of its play, the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame commissioned a 12-person panel to hold a final vote for consideration of induction into the hall of former players and league executives.

Most felt it a foregone conclusion Mr. O'Neil, being imminently qualified in his own right and the sole living representative of those being considered, would be afforded his grandest stage from which to tell the stories no baseball fan could ever grow tired of hearing.

Sadly, when the final vote came out the Hall of Fame welcomed 17 new members representing the Negro Leagues, among them a woman who had owned a franchise, but Buck O'Neil was not among those named. It was later revealed Buck had missed induction by a single vote.

Yet Mr. O'Neil did not for second express any of the bitterness it would have been his right to have in the face of yet another in a series of indignities that stretches back more than six decades.

No instead Buck O'Neil traveled to Cooperstown, New York this summer to once again represent those who for too long have not had a voice. He gave the speech allowed to inductees.

"Shed no tears for Buck," he told them. "I couldn't attend Sarasota High School. That hurt. I couldn't attend the University of Florida. That hurt. But not going into the Hall of Fame, that ain't going to hurt me that much, no. Before, I wouldn't even have a chance. But this time I had that chance."

A star-studded affair had been in the works to celebrate Buck's 95th birthday this November. That party will go on as planned, but now will act as tribute to the memory of a man who had every reason to be angry, but no desire.

And now the final question is whether Major League Baseball will finally do the right thing and place Buck O'Neil in its Hall of Fame, an institution created specifically for the recognition of men like Buck, or will Bud Selig once again owe every baseball fan an explanation for yet another misguided decision?

JeffRey

"So bring your good times, and your laughter too. We're gonna celebrate your party with you."

Well bloggers, a great many things have happened since the last time my message was disseminated via the system of tubes and wires that is the Information Superhighway, as invented by the great Al Gore.

But you know I really can't speak to all those things, so I'm gonna focus on the topic that has me more excited than Mark Foley logging onto TeenSpot.com.

Yeah...and you thought it was bad when Clinton fucked his intern. At least she was, well a she, and oh by the way....old enough to buy a fuckin' beer!

I'm not going to say anything more about that though cause it is playoff baseball time baby. I don't care what Eddie Pola has to say on the matter, this is the most wonderful time of the year.

Now I've made clear on this blog in the past my affinity for the Cardinals of St. Louis. Now if you've been following the news of late, the Cards haven't been doing so well and yet on Sunday the Birds took the field of play knowing a win or a loss by the hated Houston Asstros would mean a division title and the corresponding place in the postseason.

Happily enough I was able to attend Sunday's game along with the Lovely Brook and a distinguished cast of others that included Jake, Steven and Liz and my pal Christopher who happened to be celebrating his 24th Birthday.

We pre-gamed a bit in the parking lot with some malt beverages provided by the non-union delivery drivers of Anheuser-Busch and a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken(?).

[Editor's Note: That question mark is specifically in reference to the word chicken.]

We even attempted to sneak a few beers into Busch Stadium and found the process to be surprisingly easy. Sadly the last of the bootlegged beer was confiscated when I produced it at the same moment a geriatric lady usher was checking out my package. Damn my alluring looks.

Sadly the game did not go as well as one might have hoped. The Cards got in a 5-0 hole and didn't show much life until the 9th when solo homers from Chris Duncan, Albert Pujols and my man Scotty Spiezio made the game look respectable.

That was okay though because in the 5th inning or so, the crowd of 44,000+ was informed the Atlanta Braves were up on the Asstros 3-1 in the 9th inning.

At this point you could see several thousand Cardinal fans making the Tomahawk Chop made famous by the fans of the Florida State University Seminoles before being usurped by the fans of both the Atlanta Braves and Kansas City Chiefs. While performing "the Chop" you could also hear the tell-tale chanting that truly makes this one of the most racially insensitive symbols of the fabled American Indifference.

Now I normally hate this chop, less for political reasons and more for I hate the fuckin' Braves reasons, and yet as I saw the Cards game becoming more out of reach I found myself chopping and chanting as if I and my fellow Cards fans could will the Braves to record 3 more division saving outs.

This will of course lead to my castigation at the hands of my pal Fuller, who actually has blood from every nationality in the entire world coursing through his veins, but I can take the heat. My new best pal Bob Wickman shut down the Stros in the 9th and the Cardinal Nation could celebrate a division title 4 innings earlier than the players. At that point the Home Run Derby performance in the 9th just became a nice little sendoff on the first season in the new Busch Stadium.

Oh, just as a quick aside. I'm writing this on October 2nd. The high today was 92 degrees. Ninety-two friggin' degrees! I live in Missouri and last I checked Missouri had not moved any closer to the sun. Octobers in Missouri shouldn't see temperatures reaching the levels of say, one's pancreas.

And tomorrow's expected high....96 degrees. At this rate we'll be hitting Nick Lachey's band by Thursday. After that it's Ray Bradbury or bust!

Quick update: Chick Lennon....still sportin' a chubby.

This in from the 2nd Amendment front: The town council of Greenleaf, Idaho is considering a recommendation that every home keep and maintain at least one working firearm. The concern being that a population shift from Boise could lead to increased crime in the town.

Overlooking the dangerous prospect of arming an entire town, I'd like to to consider this.....

When exactly did Boise, Idaho become Compton? Maybe I'm way off base, but I don't think N.W.A. would have garnered the same amount of street cred with an album called "Straight Outta Boise." Now you move this one state over and call that album "Straight Outta Walla Walla" and I'm buying the limited edition 2-disc version.

And these guns...would they be potato guns? Cause a potato gun can fuck up a garage window, but it ain't holding off the Bloods or the Crips.

Saw Thank You For Smoking last night. I liked it, but I'm not ready to give it the rave reviews it has garnered elsewhere. Give me a few days to watch it again and maybe I'll post a full review.

Until then I wish you all well. Join me in hoping for an unlikely World Series title for the Gateway City and hey, watch out for those punks from Boise.

JeffRey