"It's getting hard to wake up in the morning. My head is spinning constantly. How can it be?"
Hey, does anyone out there is TV land know how to start a think tank? Actually, when you get back to me on that one, if you could also let me know what exactly a think tank does.
So I guess Hamas won every vote but American Idol and first base in the National League (go Pujols). They take the place of the corruption-laden Fatah government in Palestine. Of course Fatah was much more amenable toward peace with Israel. Bush says Hamas must change its stand on Israel entirely. All together now....Oh Shit!
Heats and Minds! Shock and Awe! Hearts and Minds! Shock and Awe!
So when I'm not selling cock rings and anal beads I spend my working hours in a hotel. The other day I met this nice old man named Forrest....something, I don't remember. Anyway, the point is he insisted on being called "Frosty." I told him I was more comfortable referring to him as Mr. Last Name, but he insisted. Never called a person Frosty before. It was fun.
Oh, yeah, the cock ring job. Tonight is my first "Swingers Night." Those quotes aren't ironic quotes, like yeah-we-call-it-that-but-it's-really-not. No those quotes are to let you know the official name is....Swingers Night. Although it might be Swingers' Night. Catch the subtle nuance there?
Yeah, so the Olde Un has satellite radio. The only hitch in the giddy-up would be the tuner's locale. It is in the manager's office. The managers, and I mean none of them, work weekend nights. They always leave it set on the 80's channel.
Now I love the 80's. But this station so rarely plays the great acts from said decade. No Smiths, no Cure, no Depeche Mode, no Talking Heads, no Blondie, no Madness, no punk of any kind, no metal and only rarely a cut from pop acts like Madonna or Michael Jackson. I know what you're thinking. What could be left?
Oh just lots of Wham!, Katrina and the Waves and Olivia Newton John. The other night I heard "Toy Soldiers" by Martika twice in a six-hour span. Now, I sorta like the song, but tell me please....How in name of god, when there are 10 years of songs to choose from, can one song be selected twice?
Hey, I had this drink this morning. It's a blend of grapefruit and cranberry juices. Pretty damned good!
Did anyone see the w. on the telebox the other day? He was doing a Q & A session, I wanna say it was after his Kansas State University speech in support of Constitutional violations. Anyway, some kid asked him if he'd seen Brokeback Mountain.
The w. paused and the Uhhhh was almost audible. Then he giggled a bit and said no he hadn't seen it. Pause. Giggle. He said he'd heard of it. Pause. Then he deadpanned..."No, I have not seen it."
The deadpan was actually pretty good, gonna give the man-child credit. The strategically selected audience laughed out loud. Not sure if they were laughing with their buddy the w. or at the fact whichever gay kid asked the question will no doubt be burning in hell someday.
You ever been in a Turkish prison? Randy Quaid gets stabbed, but only after John Hurt touches you in the shower.
So Oprah has this book club, don't know if you knew that. Apparently this is some controversy surrounding one of her more recent selections. Seems the hard times story of this "memoir" (quotes meant to be ironic this time) were, in fact, fabrications.
Oprah's current selection is a fabulous, chilling, moving Holocaust memoir entitled "Night" by Elie Wiesel. Anti-Semites are no doubt lining up now to challenge the veracity of this work.
Fuckin' A Oprah, is there anything you can fucking leave alone?!? Why don't you go have second breakfast. I hope you choke on elevensies.
Should blogs be topical? That is to say, singularly topical? I mean, should I pick one topic and go with it, or do you like how I freestyle? Good. Cause that's how I roll baby.
Okay, I have to get back to work as there are hundreds of little Methodist kids in the hotel. Bye Bye.
Video killed the radio star.
JeffRey
So I guess Hamas won every vote but American Idol and first base in the National League (go Pujols). They take the place of the corruption-laden Fatah government in Palestine. Of course Fatah was much more amenable toward peace with Israel. Bush says Hamas must change its stand on Israel entirely. All together now....Oh Shit!
Heats and Minds! Shock and Awe! Hearts and Minds! Shock and Awe!
So when I'm not selling cock rings and anal beads I spend my working hours in a hotel. The other day I met this nice old man named Forrest....something, I don't remember. Anyway, the point is he insisted on being called "Frosty." I told him I was more comfortable referring to him as Mr. Last Name, but he insisted. Never called a person Frosty before. It was fun.
Oh, yeah, the cock ring job. Tonight is my first "Swingers Night." Those quotes aren't ironic quotes, like yeah-we-call-it-that-but-it's-really-not. No those quotes are to let you know the official name is....Swingers Night. Although it might be Swingers' Night. Catch the subtle nuance there?
Yeah, so the Olde Un has satellite radio. The only hitch in the giddy-up would be the tuner's locale. It is in the manager's office. The managers, and I mean none of them, work weekend nights. They always leave it set on the 80's channel.
Now I love the 80's. But this station so rarely plays the great acts from said decade. No Smiths, no Cure, no Depeche Mode, no Talking Heads, no Blondie, no Madness, no punk of any kind, no metal and only rarely a cut from pop acts like Madonna or Michael Jackson. I know what you're thinking. What could be left?
Oh just lots of Wham!, Katrina and the Waves and Olivia Newton John. The other night I heard "Toy Soldiers" by Martika twice in a six-hour span. Now, I sorta like the song, but tell me please....How in name of god, when there are 10 years of songs to choose from, can one song be selected twice?
Hey, I had this drink this morning. It's a blend of grapefruit and cranberry juices. Pretty damned good!
Did anyone see the w. on the telebox the other day? He was doing a Q & A session, I wanna say it was after his Kansas State University speech in support of Constitutional violations. Anyway, some kid asked him if he'd seen Brokeback Mountain.
The w. paused and the Uhhhh was almost audible. Then he giggled a bit and said no he hadn't seen it. Pause. Giggle. He said he'd heard of it. Pause. Then he deadpanned..."No, I have not seen it."
The deadpan was actually pretty good, gonna give the man-child credit. The strategically selected audience laughed out loud. Not sure if they were laughing with their buddy the w. or at the fact whichever gay kid asked the question will no doubt be burning in hell someday.
You ever been in a Turkish prison? Randy Quaid gets stabbed, but only after John Hurt touches you in the shower.
So Oprah has this book club, don't know if you knew that. Apparently this is some controversy surrounding one of her more recent selections. Seems the hard times story of this "memoir" (quotes meant to be ironic this time) were, in fact, fabrications.
Oprah's current selection is a fabulous, chilling, moving Holocaust memoir entitled "Night" by Elie Wiesel. Anti-Semites are no doubt lining up now to challenge the veracity of this work.
Fuckin' A Oprah, is there anything you can fucking leave alone?!? Why don't you go have second breakfast. I hope you choke on elevensies.
Should blogs be topical? That is to say, singularly topical? I mean, should I pick one topic and go with it, or do you like how I freestyle? Good. Cause that's how I roll baby.
Okay, I have to get back to work as there are hundreds of little Methodist kids in the hotel. Bye Bye.
Video killed the radio star.
JeffRey
posted by The Crazy Leftist at 8:09 AM
1 Comments:
a) You're working at the Olde Un?? Comedy will certainly ensue, and you'll see the dirty little secrets of some of Columbia's best and brightest. You have to tell me if you ever check out a DVD copy of Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Wipe Your Chin to KOMU weatherman Doppler Dave.
b) I feel your pain, re: hearing the same prepackaged '80s hits ad nauseum at work. I myself have had "Toy Soldiers" thrust upon me several hundred times while clocked in. Not to mention nights spent at the bowling alley with Top 40 radio blasting the regurgitated hip-hop sample of "Toy Soldiers" in that fucking Eminem song.
c) George W. has too seen Brokeback Mountain. Don't let that jolly rancher fool you!
d) I was among the masses who took James Frey's A Million Little Pieces at face value - finished reading it about a week before the big Smoking Gun Oprah scandal broke. Sucks, too, because every dumbass drunk thing I've ever done, Frey was able to top exponentially, thus making me feel better about my addiction. Now I have a feeling my user stories are crazier than his and HE already made all the money that's available for stories like that to be exploited. Fucker. Root canal with no anesthesia my ass!
-Andrew
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