Big Red Rocket of Love
Hello bloggers,
I could write today of how the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have claimed more American lives than the total number of lives lost in the 9/11 attacks in Washington D.C., Pennsylvania and the interlocking NY, but that would just be a downer.
Besides, this war has a long way to go before catching the mark set by World War II, which saw about 200 times more guys die in the Pacific then died in the attack on Pearl Harbor.
Instead, I'd like to write on something I read today that made my heart swell with American flag-waving pride, yet break at the very same time.
"There is a man, a certain man, and for the poor you may be sure that he'll do all he can." Because he's looking at collecting $400,000 in a product liability claim.
[Editor's Note: I love tort reform, so put another lawsuit on the docket baby!]
Or is he? Seems Superior Court Judge Edward C. Clifton has dismissed the claim of Connecticut native Charles "Chick" Lennon, who had been previously awarded, by a jury, damages in the amount of $750,000 (an amount seen as frivolous by Judge Clifton, who reduced the number to $400,000 in 2004).
Now what, you might be asking, was the product that failed Mr. Lennon so miserably he felt the need to bring suit?
Why, his penile implant of course. Yes kids, there was once a time when Viagra did not exist for men like Bob Dole and should these men desire sexual....satisfaction, they were required to have steel and plastic rods surgically implanted into their....well, their cocks.
These rods could then by raised and lowered drawbridge style to suit a particular mood. At least that would be the case when the implant is functioning properly. But what, you may again be asking, what if the implant stopped working properly?
Well I'm glad you asked. Should the implant stop operating properly, you would be faced with one of two scenarios. One, you would have a completely useless steel rod in your cock, making every airport security checkpoint a nightmare of Derek Smalls proportions. Or two, you would be like my friend Chick, who has lived with a permanent erection for the last 10 years.
Let that sink in and percolate. He has had a neverending erection for the last 10 years!
You know, sometimes words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm. (Thanks Martin.)
I love living in a country where one, with the means, might be able to purchase a product that can create boners at will. Even more so, I love living in a country where one can basically sue for begin given a tailor-made career in the adult film industry.
Now, I'm a little bummed about the whole activist judge shooting down the tort reform thing, but I suspect Chicky Baby will be okay.
Incidentally, if you are taking one of the miracles of modern medicine guaranteed to get a rise out you and you should happen to experience an erection lasting even one 20,000th the time of Chick's, you should probably call your doctor.
Money for nothin', the dicks for free.
JeffRey
I could write today of how the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have claimed more American lives than the total number of lives lost in the 9/11 attacks in Washington D.C., Pennsylvania and the interlocking NY, but that would just be a downer.
Besides, this war has a long way to go before catching the mark set by World War II, which saw about 200 times more guys die in the Pacific then died in the attack on Pearl Harbor.
Instead, I'd like to write on something I read today that made my heart swell with American flag-waving pride, yet break at the very same time.
"There is a man, a certain man, and for the poor you may be sure that he'll do all he can." Because he's looking at collecting $400,000 in a product liability claim.
[Editor's Note: I love tort reform, so put another lawsuit on the docket baby!]
Or is he? Seems Superior Court Judge Edward C. Clifton has dismissed the claim of Connecticut native Charles "Chick" Lennon, who had been previously awarded, by a jury, damages in the amount of $750,000 (an amount seen as frivolous by Judge Clifton, who reduced the number to $400,000 in 2004).
Now what, you might be asking, was the product that failed Mr. Lennon so miserably he felt the need to bring suit?
Why, his penile implant of course. Yes kids, there was once a time when Viagra did not exist for men like Bob Dole and should these men desire sexual....satisfaction, they were required to have steel and plastic rods surgically implanted into their....well, their cocks.
These rods could then by raised and lowered drawbridge style to suit a particular mood. At least that would be the case when the implant is functioning properly. But what, you may again be asking, what if the implant stopped working properly?
Well I'm glad you asked. Should the implant stop operating properly, you would be faced with one of two scenarios. One, you would have a completely useless steel rod in your cock, making every airport security checkpoint a nightmare of Derek Smalls proportions. Or two, you would be like my friend Chick, who has lived with a permanent erection for the last 10 years.
Let that sink in and percolate. He has had a neverending erection for the last 10 years!
You know, sometimes words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm. (Thanks Martin.)
I love living in a country where one, with the means, might be able to purchase a product that can create boners at will. Even more so, I love living in a country where one can basically sue for begin given a tailor-made career in the adult film industry.
Now, I'm a little bummed about the whole activist judge shooting down the tort reform thing, but I suspect Chicky Baby will be okay.
Incidentally, if you are taking one of the miracles of modern medicine guaranteed to get a rise out you and you should happen to experience an erection lasting even one 20,000th the time of Chick's, you should probably call your doctor.
Money for nothin', the dicks for free.
JeffRey
posted by The Crazy Leftist at 9:10 PM
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