Take Me Out to the Ballgame....Take Me Out With(?) To(?) the Crowd
Hello all.
I'd like to be the first blogger to officially congratulate the University of Missouri-Columbia. Not only has your athletic department made it a week without humiliating the entire school and its complete roster of alumni, but you have also finally made the long overdue decision to scrap the abominable eyesore that is...the Tiger Spot.
For those not in know, or have never been on Mizzou's campus, the Tiger Spot was a large mosaic planted in the ground just outside the main entrance of the school's library. At the time of its installation the mosaic was lauded as a fine example of an artistic medium designed to withstand the tests of time.
Fast forward about 2 months and one Missouri winter and the project was already showing signs of serious wear and tear. In fact, I challenge you to find one Mizzou student who can actually vividly remember a time when the mosaic was no covered by a tarp or tent.
Well, like I said the project is finally being scrapped and at some point in the future what is left of Tiger Spot will be pulled up. The final tab for this project, though thankfully funded entirely by private donations, is in excess of $300,000 when the initial costs are combined with restorative efforts.
The artist behind the design, MU alumnus Paul Jackson, blames repeated acts of vandalism for the failure of Tiger Spot. An independent study paid for by the University cites the harsh extremes of Missouri weather combined with "unorthodox" construction processes and potentially inadequate glass materials. Whatever the reason, I really don't care.
I actually do remember when Tiger Spot was new and unblemished. I hated it then. I hated it even more as it became more and more of a blight on the face of what can be a beautiful campus. I am delighted it will finally be gone.
That all said, I have a question for you. Do you own a particular pair of pants or shorts which you always seem to be wearing when you break wind? I'm not naturally a gassy person myself, but I have this one pair of khaki shorts that I seem to always be wearing whenever I blow ass.
And it's not like I wear these shorts every day. I don't know. It might be coincidence. It's possible I just happen to eat foods more prone to causing gas when I'm wearing these shorts. The point is, if you see me coming and I'm wearing tan shorts...you might want to stand up wind of me if you know what I mean.
Okay, moving on. The lovely Brook and I made our way south to the town the Lord Jesus Christ himself built...lovely Springfield, Missouri. The purpose of our trip was to visit the lovely Brook's folks and catch a Springfield Cardinals baseball game. The Springfield Cards are the AA affiliate of the big club and I had heard many a great thing about the team's park, so obviously I was excited.
And I was not disappointed. The park is similar to that of the Cardinals' AAA team in Memphis in that all the seating is in foul territory and the outfield areas provide grass areas for folks to sit, maybe have a picnic and enjoy some baseball action. The stadium doesn't hold a ton of folks, maxing out between 9,000 and 10,000 I would think, but it was definitely first class. Clean and easy to find restrooms. Reasonably priced beer for a ballpark, a professional looking scoreboard and a good PA system.
It of course had its minor league charm as well. In between every inning some kind of game was going on. There was a speed eating contest for the kids to see who could cram down ice cream sandwiches the fastest. In true Kobayashi fashion, the smallest kid lapped the field and looked ready for more.
It was also exciting as the team was having Bobblehead Day. The bobblehead was of 2004 1st round draft pick Chris Lambert and I was able to secure one in fine style. Adding to the excitement, Mr. Lambert was signing bobbleheads for folks prior to the game. It was at this point I was nearly met with disaster as I was to far back in line to secure an autograph before the pitcher had to be in the dugout for the game. Luckily I was able to determine the man's means of escape and I planted myself there. The autograph just came to me.
The most exciting events however took place during the game. Like most stadiums there were only a few places one could go to have a cigarette. The lovely Brook found herself in such a spot when a foul ball went over the stands and directly into....the smoking section!
I've been to quite a few games and never been close to a foul ball or homerun, so I could barely contain myself when Brook returned to our seats with the Texas League embossed prize.
A couple of innings later Brook again excused herself to smoke. After she left another batter fouled one over the stands. I said aloud to Brook's folks "that looked to be in the exact spot as the last one."
Sure enough, Brook comes bounding back to the seats with another baseball!
So it was an exciting day all-in-all, despite the Cardinals having lost the game. After the game the players made themselves accessible to the fans and the lovely Brook was able to secure a some autographs on her newly acquired baseballs. One guy she got to sign was a 31-year old Cuban defector named Amaury Marti, who the Cardinals had just promoted to AA. The guy is old to be talking about him as a prospect, but he looks to have some pretty good power. He also had the song "Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson played before his at-bats. How cool is that?
I'd say the only thing I didn't like occurred during the 7th inning stretch. For those of you who have ever been to a baseball game, you're aware of the song "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". Well, the scoreboard ran the lyrics for fans while the tune was being piped out. The only problem? They didn't post the proper lyrics. It's "take me out with the crowd." One is asked to buy cracker jack...singular, much like it says on every package. And it's "let me root, root, root for the home team." (I don't care if parks want to insert the hometown team's name here, but the bold-faced words must be used.)
Incidentally, did you know the portion sung at baseball games is only the chorus? Yeah, the song is about a girl who has a gentleman call on her, requesting permission to take her to the theater. But the young lady is a baseball fan and insists he...well, take her out to the ballgame.
Okay, long post today, so I'll sign off with this.
Fuck you w.!!! Now that you've vetoed stem cell research I wish for your wife to be stricken with Alzheimer's tomorrow. I'd wish it directly on you, but I want you to remember how much you've fucked up this country.
Play Ball...Texas League Style
JeffRey
I'd like to be the first blogger to officially congratulate the University of Missouri-Columbia. Not only has your athletic department made it a week without humiliating the entire school and its complete roster of alumni, but you have also finally made the long overdue decision to scrap the abominable eyesore that is...the Tiger Spot.
For those not in know, or have never been on Mizzou's campus, the Tiger Spot was a large mosaic planted in the ground just outside the main entrance of the school's library. At the time of its installation the mosaic was lauded as a fine example of an artistic medium designed to withstand the tests of time.
Fast forward about 2 months and one Missouri winter and the project was already showing signs of serious wear and tear. In fact, I challenge you to find one Mizzou student who can actually vividly remember a time when the mosaic was no covered by a tarp or tent.
Well, like I said the project is finally being scrapped and at some point in the future what is left of Tiger Spot will be pulled up. The final tab for this project, though thankfully funded entirely by private donations, is in excess of $300,000 when the initial costs are combined with restorative efforts.
The artist behind the design, MU alumnus Paul Jackson, blames repeated acts of vandalism for the failure of Tiger Spot. An independent study paid for by the University cites the harsh extremes of Missouri weather combined with "unorthodox" construction processes and potentially inadequate glass materials. Whatever the reason, I really don't care.
I actually do remember when Tiger Spot was new and unblemished. I hated it then. I hated it even more as it became more and more of a blight on the face of what can be a beautiful campus. I am delighted it will finally be gone.
That all said, I have a question for you. Do you own a particular pair of pants or shorts which you always seem to be wearing when you break wind? I'm not naturally a gassy person myself, but I have this one pair of khaki shorts that I seem to always be wearing whenever I blow ass.
And it's not like I wear these shorts every day. I don't know. It might be coincidence. It's possible I just happen to eat foods more prone to causing gas when I'm wearing these shorts. The point is, if you see me coming and I'm wearing tan shorts...you might want to stand up wind of me if you know what I mean.
Okay, moving on. The lovely Brook and I made our way south to the town the Lord Jesus Christ himself built...lovely Springfield, Missouri. The purpose of our trip was to visit the lovely Brook's folks and catch a Springfield Cardinals baseball game. The Springfield Cards are the AA affiliate of the big club and I had heard many a great thing about the team's park, so obviously I was excited.
And I was not disappointed. The park is similar to that of the Cardinals' AAA team in Memphis in that all the seating is in foul territory and the outfield areas provide grass areas for folks to sit, maybe have a picnic and enjoy some baseball action. The stadium doesn't hold a ton of folks, maxing out between 9,000 and 10,000 I would think, but it was definitely first class. Clean and easy to find restrooms. Reasonably priced beer for a ballpark, a professional looking scoreboard and a good PA system.
It of course had its minor league charm as well. In between every inning some kind of game was going on. There was a speed eating contest for the kids to see who could cram down ice cream sandwiches the fastest. In true Kobayashi fashion, the smallest kid lapped the field and looked ready for more.
It was also exciting as the team was having Bobblehead Day. The bobblehead was of 2004 1st round draft pick Chris Lambert and I was able to secure one in fine style. Adding to the excitement, Mr. Lambert was signing bobbleheads for folks prior to the game. It was at this point I was nearly met with disaster as I was to far back in line to secure an autograph before the pitcher had to be in the dugout for the game. Luckily I was able to determine the man's means of escape and I planted myself there. The autograph just came to me.
The most exciting events however took place during the game. Like most stadiums there were only a few places one could go to have a cigarette. The lovely Brook found herself in such a spot when a foul ball went over the stands and directly into....the smoking section!
I've been to quite a few games and never been close to a foul ball or homerun, so I could barely contain myself when Brook returned to our seats with the Texas League embossed prize.
A couple of innings later Brook again excused herself to smoke. After she left another batter fouled one over the stands. I said aloud to Brook's folks "that looked to be in the exact spot as the last one."
Sure enough, Brook comes bounding back to the seats with another baseball!
So it was an exciting day all-in-all, despite the Cardinals having lost the game. After the game the players made themselves accessible to the fans and the lovely Brook was able to secure a some autographs on her newly acquired baseballs. One guy she got to sign was a 31-year old Cuban defector named Amaury Marti, who the Cardinals had just promoted to AA. The guy is old to be talking about him as a prospect, but he looks to have some pretty good power. He also had the song "Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson played before his at-bats. How cool is that?
I'd say the only thing I didn't like occurred during the 7th inning stretch. For those of you who have ever been to a baseball game, you're aware of the song "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". Well, the scoreboard ran the lyrics for fans while the tune was being piped out. The only problem? They didn't post the proper lyrics. It's "take me out with the crowd." One is asked to buy cracker jack...singular, much like it says on every package. And it's "let me root, root, root for the home team." (I don't care if parks want to insert the hometown team's name here, but the bold-faced words must be used.)
Incidentally, did you know the portion sung at baseball games is only the chorus? Yeah, the song is about a girl who has a gentleman call on her, requesting permission to take her to the theater. But the young lady is a baseball fan and insists he...well, take her out to the ballgame.
Okay, long post today, so I'll sign off with this.
Fuck you w.!!! Now that you've vetoed stem cell research I wish for your wife to be stricken with Alzheimer's tomorrow. I'd wish it directly on you, but I want you to remember how much you've fucked up this country.
Play Ball...Texas League Style
JeffRey
posted by The Crazy Leftist at 1:29 PM
1 Comments:
Springfield = crap
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